I've always been a thinking person...sometimes, it's been more of a bad thing than a good thing. I tend to get myself caught up in thinking about everything from clothes to world hunger. However, I often think a lot about you and what our life together will look like someday.
I think about our wedding and what a beautiful day it will be. I picture me in an ivory lace dress holding a bouquet of flowers and my dad's arm; at the same time, I picture you standing at the front of the church waiting for me to meet you. I think about what it will feel like when the church doors open and our eyes meet for the first time. Will I cry? Will you cry? What will I be thinking about as I walk down the aisle to meet you?
One thing that's always been consistent in my thinking is that I always pictured myself married young. For pete's sake, my mom was pregnant with me when she was my age and even my grandma had a baby too, so my models for relationships are all young moms. Now that I'm 2 weeks away from 22, I realize that my dream of being a young wife and mom probably won't come true. I'm not over the hill by any means, but the way I thought my life would end up isn't happening. There are times when I wish things were different and that you and I were together already...I'm not going to lie, waiting for you is one of the hardest things I've ever done! However, I am slowly realizing that God knows exactly what He's doing; even though my plans aren't working out, His are right on track.
So I'll just keep thinking but at the same time, I'll be expectant for what's to come. I don't want to think so much that my expectations of you are too unrealistic. I don't want to imagine this perfect little life and then be disappointed when things aren't like I pictured. I'll allow God to bless me with a love only He can script and will wait for His plans to unfold.
Thinking about you,
0 comments:
Post a Comment